September/New School Year/Fresh Start

I am in awe of the fact that my kids are back in school. This summer definitely feels like it went by too fast but honestly it was stressful and we all seemed to indulge in alot of bad habits.   I am proud of the fact that I've made conscious decisions and acts to put myself and my family on the right track this year. Its great to have this mind set and I feel such good energy.

I started with decluttering most of the house.  There's still work to be done but by far it was a great start. I really believe that when things are in order in your home you FEEL better.  Ive been trying to keep everyone organized and have made it very clear that this is a new beginning and we will not fall back into old habits.  I know there will be some mishaps along the way but we're making a real effort!

The kids are aware that they need to approach school with more focus and they are going to be better prepared.  They will have their work and projects done with enough time and not rushing at the last minute!

We've all been sleeping earlier but we wake up feeling refreshed and better equipped to handle our long busy days.  Even 1/2 an hour earlier to bed and earlier to rise helps immensely! ! Theres no dragging around the house, nasty attitudes and rushing to make it somewhere on time.  It puts me in a better mood and im able to handle the stress of little things in life much easier.

Even financially it seems that our family will finally be on the right path. Of course there are areas in my life that I still need to get a handle on (my weight for example) but I know its one step at a time.  At least im going into it with a positive attitude and motivated to get things done.

So many aspirations....so many goals.....so many ideas....

I one of many first steps today and signed up for a Walmart beauty box. It will deliver a box of samples of different products that I will be able to try and review.  I am ABSOLUTELY a novice when it comes to makeup and such so it will be quite interesting for me to give these products a shot.  A detailed review will follow. 

Also my battle with my weight continues.  I am currently at 175 lbs and plan to start eating healthier (again) and exercising (again) and also trying to incorporate other tactics as well....(details to follow)

Many people see January 1st as their new year but tomorrow is MY New Year.   I am looking forward to the many experiences and results to come!!

Tomorrow and my choice.

Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start! I've been so distracted by so many things lately and I will admit I have lost my focus.  I have so many goals and ambitions but I always have a difficult time sticking to my plans. I feel like I have so much potential to achieve great things or at the very least provide great things for my family.  I just need to power through the obstacles and surge forward.  I see so many other women making their dreams come true and I look at myself and feel a bit of disappointment.  I understand that it takes a tremendous amount of hard work and perseverance but I'm ready! !

I see a pattern in my life where I start off with such an amazing amount of energy and determination but half way through the process I get thrown off my path by an enumerous amount of things.  I have to stay on schedule and not give in to unforseen deterents.

Its been a struggle but finally I feel like everything may be lining up in order. My husband and I have worked on communication lately. After 18 years together and everything we've been through, this is a major step forward for us.  Without going into details....18 yrs together since I was 15, 13 years married means  we have been through alot and at the end of the day we still choose to be with each other and work through anything that comes our way.

Tomorrow means that I can still take control of my destiny and become someone I can be proud of.  Someone who can contribute and provide a better life for our children.  I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I have achieved!

I know I have alot of issues to deal with.  My weight and health.  My job.  My family. My friends.  My home and family.  Things like having a goal and picking the course to achieve it.  What weightloss program to use, How to attack my debt issues. How to work on being a better wife and mother. How to demand respect for myself. How to see myself in a better light.  How to advance at work. How to be a better sister and daughter. How to be a better friend. How to be a better person.

Saying all of those things and realizing that they dont even BEGIN to encompass all to the tasks I have ahead of me....how to fathom sending our children to college..just one issue that comes to mind....ALL of those things and at this point all I can do to calm myself down and not go spiraling off into a deep depression is this......i  keep telling myself a few things....one thing at a time...things will work out the way theyre supposed to....things could always be worse....someone out there would look at my life and be GRATEFULL!!!!

All of those things are true.  I know I have to take one step at a time.  I know my husband is there to support me and go through these things with me every step of the way.  Theres still time for me to make a change in my life for the better...as long as im breathing...theres still time.....there are so many people who wish they were in my spot...able to make a choice...I should not linger in depression... how dare I look at my life and not see room for growth...If I dont make improvements then there is no one to blame but MYSELF!!!!!

Consider this my realization and declaration to myself out loud....I Will Be BETTER....I WILL ACHIEVE!!! I WILL GO FORWARD!!  I will wake up tomorrow thankful for the breath of life the Lord has given me.  I will take the gift of life given to me and make the most of it.

Tomorrow holds so many opportunities. ..I just need to be brave enough to seize them....wish me luck!

November already gone???

This month FLEW by!!!

 I'm very pleased so far with my nail progress.  Ive been using a polish by Sally Hansen and also continually changing my polish so I wouldn't bite my nails. The results have been great. Its about a month and a half in between both pictures and im happy with the results. I'll be posting pics of different nail designs to come. I always feel more feminine when my nails are in good condition but thats just me.

Alot of chaos at work as one of my full time co-workers has started her maternity leave early.  I in turn have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off!!! Between baby shower, working extra houta, parent teacher conferences,  running errands with the kids, and thanksgiving festivities I truly dont know where the month went.

Ive been talking to a close friend of mine and we both discussed the possibility of starting a business venture together.  Why can't we be in charge of our destinies?  Why can't we have a larger piece of the American pie? There's nothing stopping us or getting in the way but ourselves.  Hopefully I will have more news to share in the future about this.  Keeping fingers crossed......

December is here tomorrow and I am determined to decorate and continue baking and cooking to make this an awesome holiday.  Its always been a great time but as I've mentioned in previous posts, I reallywant to make more of an effort and make memories for my family.

Lastly the weight loss has been at at a satnd still. Tomorrow I am starting my cleanse and I also ordered a weight loss supplement called Jadera.  I tried it a few years ago and it worked well but just like anything else its not a long term solution.  I do feel that its a great starting point for me now because I have more knowledge and have a better game plan.   I will post before and after pics next month and fill in the details of what I've done and any progress I have made.

My birthday is next month and I hope that this will be a great year.

Update....sort of ....

So the last week was pretty quiet as quiet can go in my life.  Just work and sleepovers and bday parties at chuck e cheese.  I have to update that the weightloss was a complete and total failure! ! I didn't put in any effort after the first two days so obviously it didnt work.  Im just finding it hard to decide on what route to take...wether its a cleanse or atkins or appetite suppressant or juicing.  Ofcourse with the holidays coming and all the yummy food that will follow I'm even considering holding off until the new year.  I'm very torn about the "New Years Resolution" idea of weightloss versus the "Stop the excuses and start THIS MINUTE" approach.  My birthday is next month and I will be turning 33 so I could use that as a mini goal to see if I can make any progress. We'll see....

Meanwhile. ...I have been cooking more. (Which might add to my weight problem lol)   I haven't done anything serious just packaged cookies and cupcakes and easy stuff like sausage and peppers. Its such a great way to bond with my kids and get them involved. But it has definitely lit the fire to get me cooking and baking more. I was a novice fondant decorator but I really enjoyed it and was so proud of myself so maybe I'll start again and take more pictures of my endeavor.  I'm eager to start trying new recipes to see what I'm really capable of.  Maybe I'll sign up for a few beginners classes.  I'm starting to think anything is possible but I have to TRY!

(Don't mind my little one's messy hair...it was the weekend...cut me some slack! lol)

  Finally dyed my hair back to black/brown and started growing my nails.  I'm also going to try and step up the home décor.  It's a struggle with working full time but I want my husband and kids to come home and feel like their wife/mom has tried to build a clean and loving and warm and also FESTIVE environment that they can be proud of. 

(I couldn't get the same lighting, sorry)

   I have so many ideas and goals to meet and i think my problem is knowing where to start.  I love to see everyone else's pictures and ideas for decorating and holiday comfort foods. Although October is still my favorite month. ..November and December are right behind. Especially this year because I am taking such an active approach to everything. I'm not just sitting back and doing the minimum... .ok so I am absolutely doing less than the minimum with my weight loss but that's another story,  as for everything else I am definitely trying harder. I want to take pictures of the things I'm doing and be proud. If I can inspire someone else by what I've achieved on my own that would be a bonus!! I'm looking forward to it!! :D

A new me!

So it's about that time of year when my clothes are getting tighter, my skin is breaking out from eczema, my asthma is at its worst.  I'm just unhappy with my weight all around.  Yes,  I've tried it all....master cleanse, eating healthy with exercise, weight loss pills, no carb all protein,  you name it I've probably tried it.  Now I will be completely honest...I've gotten great results...but as all the critics will be sure to say the "fad diets" don't work...at least not permanently.  What I will say is that they can be a great starting off point.  My problem is that I never continue eating healthy.  I am either at one extreme or the other.  I'm either super healthy and wont indulge in any treats at all and I'm MISERABLE or I'm binging out on bags of chips, packs of cookies, slices of cakes, a multitude of donuts...you catch my drift right?  (nom nom nom)   Oh yea...and STILL MISERABLE.

Now that I'm blogging I feel that its the perfect time to re-start with my weight loss.  I'm going to document this venture and hopefully this will keep me accountable and motivate me to stick to the program.  I'll check in after a week and list what I've done and any progress.  I'm going to try just eating healthy(healthier) not over doing it with the junk but not being a total scrooge either. Just portion control and being smarter about my choices.  No starving. No skipping meals.  I'll combine this with the 30 day ab/arm/squat challenges.  Wish me Luck!!

Starting Stats

Height 5'6"
Weight 179.2 lbs - OMG :/
Goal Weight  155 lbs

Very first post!!

So today is the day I have decided to put the pen to paper (so to speak) and start "blogging"!  I will be honest....I haven't done much research other than reading a few blogs, so I'm not quite sure what  I should be doing or what to expect from this but I had to give it a try.

So I've read a few blogs here and there and I've noticed a trend.  Most of them seem to have something to offer.   They promote themselves as "frugal this" or "beauty guru" that or my favorite is the "stylish but on a budget" type.  Now dont get me wrong. ..I LOVE those sites...they inspire me. ..but I am in no way shape or form here to claim to be any one of the above....well...not yet anyway...who knows...maybe someday in the distant future I too will have the super mom powers of being flawless with my wardrobe, queen of d.i.y. party decorating, holding down my full time job and making it home with enough time to prepare an organic gourmet meal from scratch. ...but for now I'm happy making it through the day without landing in jail from my road rage and not emotionally scaring my children for life.

Now why did I want to start a blog you ask? Answer is...I dont know.  I guess the easiest way for me to rationalize it is to say that I have alot on my mind.  I may not be the super mom like I mentioned above but my plate still seems pretty full.

As I mentioned earlier I was a mom at a very early age. I had my son right after graduating high school.  While I had almost a full scholarship to college,  my dad died earlier that year and although I knew my sons father would always be there, I decided that I needed to find a job asap so I could support my son. As a minority, unwed, teen mother I could hear the words "STATISTIC"  screaming in my head,  so I had to get a job and prove to myself more than anyone else that I could be a great mother.

While all my friends were off to college,  I was off to work. I had no time to party or really even socialize. I wanted my family to work.   Truth is that between work , kids and working on our marriage,  friends were definitely the last thing on my list. They all moved on with their lives and I only keep in touch with a all handful of them.   Fast forward 15 years,  a marriage and two more kids later. I'm still working ,running errands,  with my kids and the spare time we have my husband and I try to spend together.  Be that as it may, my husband works so hard and for so many hours that our quality time is few and far in between.

Finally I have found myself going through life and all its curveballs and other wonderful and at times frustrating experiences and I needed an outlet.   I needed a way to convey everything I feel and all my questions without being interrupted and my poor husband can only handle so much of me so here I am. I look forward to seeing how this turns out.

Now if you made it to the end of this that means you've given me a few minutes of your time and I thank you.  I know this first post was long winded but I wanted to give you a sense of where I was coming from.   I promise to make future posts more concise and light hearted.  I hope you stay tuned.  :)